Chapter 4: Statement on the death of Duolingo
It was with great sadness, I heard of the passing of my dear friend Duo last week. Here is my statement on the matter.
The Manhunt for Duo’s Killer Continues. Tributes Pour In.
The news was hard to believe. You think someone is immortal, but then out of the blue (or green) a tragedy occurs. Last week we lost a pioneer. A leader in the fight to make learning languages accessible. We lost Duo of Duolingo.
Authorities are investigating the death and have footage of Duo being hit by Cybertruck. Questions about the driver are running rampant with many believing it was rapper Drake after Duo seemingly sided with Kendrick Lamar in the ongoing rap beef. Though suspicion has been rising toward SKOGSDUVA from IKEA who at a press conference on Feb. 14 was asked by reporters about the rumours that THEY were behind the wheel of the Cybertruck.
While suspicion is being cast on SKOGSDUV and Drake, we must not eliminate Pengu of the Pengu App from the list of suspects as they seem to be claiming the title of “Bird Mascot Supreme” in the wake of Duo’s assassination. Plus their caption did read “Beef Won I Guess.”
The incident has led to heightened security for other high profile bird mascots like Penguin from Penguin Random House. It has also been reported that Owly from Hootsuite is experiencing severe stress from the situation and is afraid to leave HQ.
Many have spoken about the untimely passing of this icon, especially his will-they-won’t-they-maybe-secret-girlfriend Dua Lipa who said on X, “Til’ death duo part.”
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A Eulogy to my Departed Friend
Duo was my second friend in Lisbon and his friendship meant a lot to me in those first few weeks. He would message me daily with reminders to interact with him, provide me with the positive encouragement needed when I was missing home and more. He celebrated my bravery for learning a new language and trying to fit into a new country.
When I’d go for daily walks or to the grocery store, I’d point to things and call them by their Portuguese name, hoping that secretly he was listening and was proud of me.
We spent time together at church, where I’d put my headphones on and pretend to pray so we wouldn’t be bothered by the clergy. We’d have a beer at the local miradouro and he’d tell me how armadillos (tatus) and sharks (tubarões), don’t speak English to each other. He’d keep me awake on long bus rides home after a day trip to ensure I wouldn’t miss my stop. We’d speak to each other at the cafe, where others would stare in jealousy as I told you “o urso bebe cerveja,” (the bear drinks beer). We’d see the Acropolis, Duomo, Berlin Wall, Fjords, Vienna Opera House, Dutch Tulips and more together. Our friendship was endless. It had no boundaries, no boarders.
There are some people who may think his sentences were nonsensical, but I personally felt they catered to my life. Many may think the phrase “o urso não usa calças” or “the bear does not wear pants,” has no practical application in life, but it was very useful when I attended a local “Bear Bar” and this older bear figure was walking around with no pants. I confidently was able to tell the people in my group, “o urso não usa calças!” I felt that the more time I spent with him, the more he adapted to my lifestyle.
There were even some useful phrases that helped me get out of some weird and uncomfortable situations as well as bring peace. I remember an awkward argument where two attractive men were talking about the latest political happenings in the country. When they looked at me, likely hoping I’d pick a side, I simply stated “a vaca não come a gente” (the cow does not eat us). Their quizzical looks at each other allowed me to escape and after my departure they no longer argued.
I learned so much about his passions. Like his love for film, specifically that of critically acclaimed La La Langue as well as his dreams of going for gold at the Olympics as a skier.
A one-sided friendship?
I will say, as much as I listened to him, I felt he didn’t reciprocate that back. I’d tell him about my cousin being a teacher yet, he’d always say “sua prima é secretária,” (your cousin is a secretary). I kept telling him, she was a teacher, but he kept forgetting. For someone who seemed so invested in this friendship, I felt unheard sometimes.
There were times he’d get jealous easily. Once I went on a day trip with JQ to Praia da Ursa, which is a secluded beach by Cabo da Roca that has no cell service. When I got service again, I was surprised by the barrage of messages from him. What was more distressing is he got Lily to start messaging me as if he thought I had blocked him.
Then there were moments where I forgot to interact with him and he’d send a threatening countdown…an ultimatum of sorts. There were times I felt he thrived in creating a culture of fear, something echoed by other friends of his as well. He was such a popular person, that the fear of him ostracizing us or being shunned was real. He once invited a woman to his party only to embarrass her in front of a crowd by turning her away at the door and one person was exiled never to be seen again.
I get it though. We all have that super demanding, attention grabbing friend in our life. It’s almost as if each friend group needs one and Duo was mine. In all honesty, his pressure and guilt tactics made me strive to be a better friend.
Duo my friend. I will miss you. You were there when I needed motivation and encouragement. You entertained me with your humorous ways. Life won’t be the same without you. I’ll reiterate the last thing you taught me before your death, “a formiga gosta da fazenda,” (the ant like the farm). Rest in Peace Duo.
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